Becoming Energy

After spending time with a friend, something had changed inside of me. But I wasn’t sure what was happening. Eleven days later, a short experience gave me the answer. What had been happening for eleven days was my separate self or mind was dissolving. And because I didn’t know what was happening to me, my experience was a complete surprise.

My experience was the complete dissolving of my separate identity, and all that was left was a body seeing and doing things. There was no me who was seeing or doing things. There was just the seeing or doing. In other words, I no longer existed as someone separate from what was around me; I was what existed. After about 5 seconds, my separate identity came back.

For three years, my normal identity had been pure awareness, a witness to everything that is happening around me, although it fluctuates in how much I feel detached from everything. So there is me as pure awareness and everything else, which is energy. But everything in my experience was just the energy seeing or doing. There weren’t others or me who were seeing or doing things or witnessing things happen. There was just energy that was sensing and playing. There weren’t doers; there was only doing.

Here is an example: Picture me dribbling a basketball. There are three components: me, the dribbling, and the basketball. In my experience, there wasn’t a me dribbling the basketball nor was there a separate basketball. All that existed was the dribbling.

This experience is what some people call unity consciousness, which in my terminology is pure awareness and energy as one entity. There are no doers in this entity, nor are there separate objects in this entity. There is just energy moving. And it makes sense that this energy is aware of what it is doing. So awareness isn’t separate from the energy that is moving; it’s all one process that is happening.  There are no individual persons or objects; there is just energy playing with itself. I had become energy for about five seconds.